The Pebble of Ultimate Destruction
Ultimate Source of Evil in the Universe
The Pebble of Ultimate Destruction is a diminutive rock of deceptive ability. Though only about two inches in diameter, it is the source of all evil in the universe. It likes pie and going for long walks on the beach.
Formed over one million years ago in a primordial volcano that short, hairy people keep using to dispose of rings, amulets, swords, spatulas, tires, tyrannical dictators, stale muffins, unwanted goldfish, holiday fruitcake, AOL CDs, Mr. Mxyzptlk, and other purely evil objects, the pebble was spewed out in a violent eruption that killed several million dinosaurs and totaled a nearby Starbucks.
Since its creation, the pebble has sat motionless near a beach in New Jersey. It believes everyone that passes it by to be named “Fred.” It has no scruples and will kill to get what it wants. No one knows what it wants.